Subject: Fw: Fwd: Fw: CHILDREN AND THE CHURCH]
Date: Sun, 11 Mar 2007 20:27:06 -0500

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A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded.  His cousin was amazed that he had an answer                                 so quickly.                           "How do you know that?"                         "Easy," the little boy said.           "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said,                   4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."                º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°   After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced   to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."            "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and      I figure it will be more fun to stand up and talk, than to sit and                                   listen."                 ?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?       A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service, "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed                              trash against us."                 ?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?           A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.                   "How do you know what to say?" he asked.                             "Why, God tells me."               "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"                 ?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o? A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.            Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,          "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"                 ?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed   all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three                            times what was wrong.   Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a              Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"                 ?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º    Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite     Bible stories.  She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four     people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to                                  represent.                    "The Flight to Egypt," was his reply.   Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and                  Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"                      "Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"                    º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º   The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say                           prayers before eating?" "No sir," little Johnny replies, I don't have to  My mom is a good cook."                 ?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?     A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!"   A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring, and                       the actor would drop from view.   The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place.  When the new actor   announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck  No amount of tugging                     on the rope could make him descend.               One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled:                         "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"                 ?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?                            This is the best one.     A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a                                bedtime story.   From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to    touch his wrinkled cheek.  She was alternately stroking her own cheek,                                then his again              Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"        "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."              "Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"    "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago." Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better                              at it, isn't he ?" --------------------------------- Check out the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta - Fire up a more powerful email and get things done faster.