|
1.
Law
of Mechanical Repair -
After
your hands become coated with
grease, your nose will begin to
itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law
of Gravity
-
Any
tool, nut, bolt, screw, when
dropped, will
roll to the least accessible
corner.
3.Law
of Probability
- The
probability of being watched is
directly proportional to the
stupidity of your act.
4. Law
of Random Numbers
- If
you dial a wrong number, you never
get a busy signal and someone
always answers.
6. Variation
Law-
If
you change lines (or traffic
lanes), the one you were in will always
move faster than the
one you are in now (works every
time).
7.Law
of the Bath
- When
the body is fully immersed in
water, the telephone rings.
8.
Law of Close Encounters - The
probability of meeting someone you
know increases dramatically when
you are with someone you don't
want to be seen with.
9.
Law of the Result -
When
you try to prove to someone that a
machine won't work, it will.
10.Law
of Biomechanics -
The
severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.
11..Law
of the Theater & Hockey Arena -
At
any event, the people whose seats
are furthest from the aisle,
always arrive last They are the
ones who will leave their seats
several times to go for food,
beer, or the toilet and who leave
early before the end of the
performance or the game is over.
The folks in the aisle seats come
early, never move once, have long
gangly legs or big bellies and
stay to the bitter end of the
performance. The aisle
people also are very surly folk.
12.The
Coffee Law -
As
soon as you sit down to a cup of
hot coffee, your boss will ask you
to do something which will last
until the coffee is cold.
13.
Murphy's
Law of Lockers -
If
there are only 2 people in a
locker room, they will have
adjacent lockers.
14.Law
of Physical Surfaces
-
The
chances of an open-faced jelly
sandwich landing face down on a
floor, are directly correlated to
the newness and cost of the carpet
or rug.
15. Law
of Logical Argument
-
Anything
is possible if you don't know what
you are talking about.
16. Brown's
Law of Physical Appearance
-
If
the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's
Law of Public Speaking
-
A
closed mouth gathers no feet.
18.
Wilson's
Law of Commercial Marketing
Strategy
- As
soon as you find a product that
you really like, they will stop
making it.
19. Doctors'
Law
-
If
you don't feel well, make an
appointment to go to the doctor,
by the time you get there you'll
feel better.. But don't make
an appointment, and you'll stay
sick.
|