*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?         *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If 4 out of 5 people   SUFFER  from diarrhea.....Does that mean that one out of five enjoys   it?       *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they  just stale bread to begin with?   *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*       *~*~*~*~*~*~*~   If people from   Poland   are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?     *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   Why is a person who  plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?         *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted , Musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?       *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ?       *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Do Lipton Tea employees take "coffee breaks?" *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   What   hair color   do they put   on the driver's licenses of  bald men?   *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*       *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   I  thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, So I wondered what do Chinese mothers use ,   Toothpicks? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures On the   postage stamps   so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?     *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?     *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? *~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?           *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* As income tax time  approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells   "THE IRS"?  (theirs)      Have a great day   Make the best of the rest!